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The English Language (something I found on the web)

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The English Language (something I found on the web)

文章Darren » 週一 5月 12, 2008 9:09 pm

Hey guys, this might belong in the jokes section. Feel free to ask questions if you don't get the gist of things. Enjoy:




The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.
The LIGHT!!!! It BURNS!!!!! It BURNS!!!!!
頭像
Darren
 
文章: 66
註冊時間: 週日 12月 17, 2006 10:45 pm
來自: exiled

文章rock » 週一 5月 12, 2008 11:21 pm

Wooooow~~~ One of the most amazing poems I've ever read. (If it can be called a poem???) Way to go, Darren!!!!
I can also provide something named "Why is Chinese so damn difficult?" by some humorous foreigner who had a hard time learning Chinese. That one is a little bit long, though.
I will try my best.
rock
 
文章: 172
註冊時間: 週二 8月 22, 2006 4:41 pm
來自: Keelung


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