網站 http://www.happyforum.org/ 歡迎超連結並轉寄網址
論壇 http://www.happyforum.org/happy/ 歡迎至論壇討論
Time：第32次例會，2005年 12月 2日（週五）晚上7~9點
Place：
viewtopic.php?t=15
19:00~20:00 Gossip
20:00~21:00 Topic Discussion
Host: Melody Hsiao
Assistant Host: Cathy Lin
Source:
http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0 ... index.html
By Katie Wallance
Book: The Love Trainer
By Julia Llewellyn Smith
TOPIC:
To Train your man like training your dog
My client, Rebecca is clear about what she wants. "Every day when I get home from work, he should be waiting for me," she says. "He'll listen for my key in the door, bound into my arms and cover me in slobber. When I'm watching TV, he'll snuggle up to me. If I leave him alone in the house, he'll howl. He'll follow me devotedly down the street and growl at anyone who threatens to take me away from him.
No, Rebecca's not talking about dogs, she's talking about boyfriends. Unfortunately, when I met Rebecca, her man, Tim, was behaving less like a perfect pet and more like an untrained puppy. Tim was staying out late, then scratching at the door begging to be let in. He whined when Rebecca said no. He was even running around with other bitches
If my spaniel, Elton, was my boyfriend he'd always call when he said he would and he'd never forget to pick me up from the airport. But Elton didn't get that way by accident: I had to obedience train him. It was time to teach Rebecca how to love train Tim.
The first principle Rebecca had to learn was that dogs are pack animals. In the dog world, there's no such thing as democracy. Hounds want a leader of the pack to obey unquestioningly. The most important thing, Rebecca could do was establish herself - not Tim - as the leader. As with a dog, the guidelines are clear. Here are a few:
Don't let your dog or man go through doors or downstairs before you do-
"That's so old-fashioned," Rebecca objected. She's wrong. It's all about respect. Your man should also open doors for you and pull out your chair in a restaurant. If you don't start off with the dog/man treating you as number one, you're setting up some very bad habits which will be impossible to eradicate later.
Don't go to your dog to give affection -
"I always do that," Rebecca agreed. "I snuggle up to Tim when he's watching Match of the Day and then he pushes me away and I feel sad and rejected." Leaders wait for the dog/man to come to you for cuddles. Even then, only give them if they've been good. Hugs and kisses after bad behaviour will make them think it's acceptable.
Don't fall for his cute act -
When Elton wees on the floor or knocks over the dustbin, he gazes at me mournfully and stands on his hind legs. "When Tim comes home drunk at five in the morning, he flutters his eyelashes and puts on a baby voice to try and get round me," Rebecca agrees. Ignore him. The time to be nice to him, is when he is lying quietly. Only then go over and praise him. That way he'll quickly learn who's in control.
Don't shout; don't be moody -
If you lose your temper and scream, it shows you're losing control and then you will automatically lose your position as leader of the pack. And don't try to make a dog or man feel bad by going into a sulk. They don't think like we girls do and they simply won't be able to relate your grumpiness to their earlier bad behaviour. When you're angry or upset, say something calmly but firmly at the time of the misbehaviour. If your annoyance lasts for days, he'll just think you're a moody bitch.
Finally - find out about his previous owners-
Why did they get rid of him? Bear in mind that unfortunately, if they have had previous bad experiences they may be aggressive and it may be almost impossible to re-train them. If that proves to be the case, there may be no choice but to put them down - or, in a man's case, dumping him. Unfortunately, this was what happened to Rebecca and Tim. "It was the best move I ever made," she says. "Now I'm with someone whose tongue hangs out at the sight of me.
Questions for Discussion:
1. After reading this article, which part impressed you the most? Which points do you agree or disagree with? Share with us.
2. As a woman, do you learn anything from the article? Do you have any similar experience or situation that you have faced?
3. Which guideline mentioned above would be the most applied to you?
4. From a man’s point of view, do you think the ‘’ training program’’ works with you?
例會須知 參與例會，請自行列印當週的討論文章並帶至現場，圖示如下：
請將社團網站，加入我的最愛 http://www.happyforum.org/
台北，每週六 (2005年6月起)
Taipei, Saturday, Weekly
from June, 2005
Place：
viewtopic.php?t=15
高雄，每月最後一個週日 (2007年4月起)
Kaohsiung, Final Sunday, Monthly
from April, 2007
Place：
viewtopic.php?t=15
