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文章annie_chung » 週三 6月 21, 2006 12:34 pm

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Time:第 61 次例會,2006年6月24日(週六)下午3~5點

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Source: http://www.psychdaily.com/article/758/

TOPIC: 5 Simple Ways To Overcome Shyness

Feb 28, 2005; Posted 03:40 pm EST (08:40 GMT) By: Peter Murphy

Even the most confident people have situations that cause them to be shy. Even famous personalities and very successful business people experience shyness at times. (if only they knew the best ways to overcome shyness)

Every one is shy to one level or another, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life, for example, flirting, working or public speaking. Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it when you learn the right way to go about it. The problem is that you have not been exposed to accurate, proven ways to deal with shyness.

Shyness can be defined as having difficulty creating a rapport with other people. For many people, shyness can mean having a hard time thinking of things to say in a social setting.

For others it can include physical symptoms of apprehension. For most people, it involves a combination of the two. Social behaviors that come easily to the average person such as smiling, making conversation, maintaining eye contact, and a relaxed posture are extremely difficult for the shy person to achieve.

Making friends and attending social functions may seem like a nightmare to a shy person. No one wants to stand in the corner alone, but a shy person may lack the ability to approach new people.

You can learn how to overcome shyness and build confidence by developing new habits and social skills. Shy people may have to exert a large amount of effort in order to start a conversation or attend a party. Determination is a key factor in learning how to overcome shyness.

5 Ways To Overcome Shyness:

1. Some of the components of shyness are lack of self-confidence and anxiety around others, difficulty carrying on a conversation, and a lack of knowledge about the expected behavior in social situations.
Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general. Learning how to overcome shyness may seem like an insurmountable task, but help is available to you through several sources.

2. You must first determine why you are shy. There are always underlying reasons for the way a person reacts in certain situations.

Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private and practice until you begin to see results in public. Walk confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll find yourself behaving the same confident way in social settings.
As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself to act as if you are not shy can be very helpful in learning how to overcome shyness altogether.

3. One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look your best. Looking great makes you feel great and does wonders for your self-esteem.

Reduce your fear of rejection by always imagining the worst outcome possible in every social situation. Then if the outcome is less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell on the rejection near as much.

Observing strangers and acquaintances and how they relate to others can be a great tool in learning how to overcome shyness.

4. If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join clubs or go to events that interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to engage in conversations with those who have common interests.

The initial conversation will be much easier since you'll already have a topic of conversation that interests you both.

5. If you do not have the confidence to approach someone new, then smile and try to be approachable. Most people are receptive to a smile and a friendly face.

You could also consider taking someone that you are comfortable with along to lessen your anxiety. Shy people are extremely reluctant to take the risk of approaching new people.

If you want to learn how to overcome shyness, you may have to make an effort to be outgoing initially, but soon your new habits will become natural and easy.

There are numerous resources available to you if you need help overcoming shyness. Professional advice and tips on how to overcome shyness can be very beneficial if you are having difficulty taking that first step.

Discussion Questions:

1. Are You Shy? In a study published by Zimbardo in 1975, he stated that 40% of 800 respondents to a survey he conducted considered themselves shy. Twenty years later, in 1995, Bernardo Carducci published the results of a similar study. This time the percentage increased to 48% of respondents considering themselves shy. How do you define? Does it correspond with how others look at you?
2. Every one is shy to one level or another. In what kinds of social situations will you feel extremely shy? Have you conquered it yet? If yes, how did you do it?
3. According to a study published on The New York Times, shyness can be inherited. How do you think of this idea? Do you agree that Chinese are a comparatively shy race on the whole?
4. Last but no least, please try to vote for a shiest person in your group and give him/her appropriate suggestions.
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